BEING WOMAN

BEING WOMAN

One can't be at two places the same time, says "Pauli's Exclusion Principle", but women just don't seem to listen !

Seen this and seeing this with the valuable realisation from the past year, that, women carry their whole house with them.. As in, wherever they are, they have in their minds, their families, keeping in mind every small detail, about likes and dislikes of her people, a woman just sets an example of perfection !

We think it's hard to manage house and work, and I rather say, it's next to impossible doing so, which women actualize Everyday !

I can't imagine being so brave, I mean doing the household work, sending children to school, making tiffin, (cooking, well I'm very bad at it, so all together it's a different struggle for me)

So, I was saying, women carry their house with them, everywhere they go.. So never judge a women by how she dresses, or I should rather say, never judge Anyone by how he dresses as you never know, may be the "Appearance" must be the last thing in their minds...

I mean, if a girl wears short clothes, it doesn't mean she's inviting people, neither she's blocking people if she dresses conservatively. It's just always about the culture we're into and moreover, if you ask women out there, they'll definitely agree to the fact that they're comfortable in whatever they're wearing, and they even like it that way, So that's it, clothes has very less to do with what we actually are.

A few years back... I was a typical teenage girl, having my own Fantasies about the world and the worldly issues, but now that I'm about to step into womanhood(well, the work's still under progress, or actually better to say, on the line of girlhood and womanhood) It is the fact that I am getting all selfish, well, let me define this "selfish ", my friend once told me, "Sukanya dear, a woman is the selfish most person on this earth" and adding to that, "if the woman you're talking about, is a mother, then forget the level of selfishness", well let me tell you, this whole "selfishness" of a woman is the "selflessness", as in selfishness for her people, yes, for all her people but Herself ! 

(Okay, when I said that I am getting selfish, it didn't mean I'm going to become a mother I just meant I'm getting a little Selfless which I wasn't in my teeny tiny world)

Well, everyone has the women of their lives, who's after a girl's womanly instincts, yeah I have her too, Yes, it's my mother, very beautiful, dresses conservatively but in fashion, makes me stronger day by day, encourages me to face the harsh reality of the hypocritical world and always there as a best friend to share gossips and to pour my heart out. We fight as well(A LOT trust me), well it becomes obvious as we've been talking a lot, she just get's cranky when I'm not giving her much of time, and the worst part is when she's not the first one I share my news with.

But there's this one thing I always do, though she has seen way more than I have, i.e. she's more experienced in all terms, but since she stays back at home all the time, I make sure I show her what's actually going on outside, it's through My Eyes that she sees the outer world, so I make sure I present it rationally in front of her, I show her how things have changed from their time to our time, the beautiful part of this whole process is, she's very positive with my view, she's so smart, she's so modern that she accepts and understands me and has faith in me, that if Sukanya says so, it must be true, she's such a doll, I don't think I can be such a great mom. I'm 100% sure, If my Mom would've born around in my generation, she must've been one of those  "Beauty with brains" kind of girls . Well didn't want it to turn into a "Mother's day" thing, but It's women's day, and why won't I mention the woman who's shaping the woman in me !

It's said, that behind every successful man, there's a woman, but I'd rather say that behind every successful and happy woman, there's a man, supporting her, pushing her, encouraging her, completing her.

There's a man in my world too, yeah, it's my Dad(I call him Puppa) (and yeah, now it's going to turn into a "Father's Day" thing) The man in my life, My Dad, he's always so so irritating me, making fun of me, he's more of an elder brother, or boyfriend at times, and hence always there when I'm wrong, when something goes wrong, when I fail at exams, when I am disastrous at cooking, I wish I get a husband like him.

The thing is... What a woman is, how she's supposed to be treated is decided by the male members of the family, and I think he has taught me really good, how and why to respect a woman, and why as a woman I ought to get the same. When you see him practicing it himself, you realise your basic behavior comes from your family, and here's where everything starts from.

Well enough of my Family Drama.

I've heard this somewhere and started to believe it by now, that when women come together with same intentions, be it for making a quilt, in a kitchen making a meal, in a club reading same book, around the table playing cards, or planning a birthday party, when women come together with collective intentions, they outperform, and hence Magic happens !!

I Strongly believe, women Are capable of bringing about a change, starting from our very own house, to the society, you just need to be brave and willing enough to at least take the first step, as rest the conspires with time, you just need to raise your voice, my dear ladies, be brave, because if you're so confined to please everyone everytime and so so worried about being liked you'll never be able to bring about the change you've always dreamed of, and you yourself won't be happy, so what's the point in living such a life, you'll have to admit to the fact that in your journey towards your ultimate goal, you ARE going to hurt a few people, you will be disappointing a few others, you'll have to go against a few ones, and Make it done !

So have faith in yourself and knowing the thing you're up to is morally correct, go for it, once people realize your humble intentions, they'll join you as well.

The biggest complaint I have from all the women is that once they're busy in their lives, they just forget to take out some time for themselves, okay, for women who's family means everything to them, just fulfilling their needs is everything to such women, I'm not even saying to keep yourself "first" but at least SOMEWHERE if not first, you can at least take out "some" time for your own self, shouldn't you be ?!

At my office, when women were asked what their hobbies were, they actually went blank, for a few... The only things they did other then work, were things for their children, their husband, their families, and this is something which should never happen ladies ! You see that we become so busy in life that we just forget to live... Don't do that, keep time for yourselves. Take up a new hobby, or re-live an old one, but make at least one move for yourselves everyday !

"Women" the whole class is so Classy you see, beauty is redefined looking at and through women. Moreover beauty is more of an intellectual thing, a thing worth thinking of and not merely a Matter of appearance !

So never ever feel yourself as "not so good looking" or "not beautiful",  and to other girls and guys who make their partners feel so, a humble request to them, Never do that, because for someone who's mature enough to take your suggestions the right way, it all cool, but for the ones who're blindly in love with you might just loose their minds ! I've kind of gone through it. So it just once housed in my mind that I am not beautiful enough, trust me, I missed many things during that phase. One thing you need to understand is, you can't be uglier than you think you are, and you are beautiful only to the extent You believe You Are. Being beautiful makes you look beautiful, but Feeling beautiful makes you Stay Beautiful. So the choice is yours. 

(I've chosen to Feel Beautiful over the past years, and trust me, it's more beautiful and it indeed makes you more and more beautiful with time !) Your beauty must reflect back in the form of happiness, as you must be happy inside out in order to keep people around you happy.

So I'd like to conclude by mentioning that, for all those years as a woman hearing "not slim enough", "not curvy enough", "not pretty enough", "not this enough", "not that enough", wake up over this nightmare and yell back, "Hey You, Yes you Moron, I am more than Just Enough" !

WRITTEN BY -

SUKANYA WABLE,

BLOG WRITER,

21ST WRITING WING

AN INITIATIVE OF 21ST THE CLUB OF PHOTOGRAPHERS

© ALL RIGHTS ARE RESERVED

A Day After A Women's Day

                          

A DAY AFTER WOMEN'S DAY

Finally after a grand celebration of international women's day, and receiving infinite messages and reading countless articles I felt soo prestigious for being a women. For an instant I thought of our world without all those harassment women face. Ok so no more eve teasing and rape cases around me.This all really sounds so satisfying,and unbelievable too.

But the next sunrise was really shocking. Again that repeated picture when I got out of my house a group of boys teasing a girl passing by and that helpless face running from there. A day before everyone around was messaging me about how beautiful is my existence on this earth and now after 24 hours again my neighboring aunty complaining to my mom "eka mulila sobta ka itkya ratri bher rahna!!" I giggled on myself that how could I even expect this temporary satisfaction to be my permanent happiness. Celebrating this 8th march can really change the dispersed scenario of our society?? Ohh please if that would be the case there won't be 250,000 rape cases recorded annually, and there won't be girl afraid of walking on the street with the fear of eve teasing, no parent would say "saat ch aat gharat ye"

In this fast growing and developing world where there is nothing a girl can't do and where every second mouth utters the word "equality" this sexual difference is held soo high that we celebrate 8th march as "WOMEN'S DAY" and "MEN'S DAY" on 19th November. This itself replicates our attitude towards EQUALITY. When a child is born the first question that arises is "boy or a girl?" Is it that god gifts a boy with extra hands and a girl with less?NO .When someone steps in this world it is as a  human being ,just the difference in the physical appearance does not discriminate men and women. This sexual difference doesn't decide your right to live.. And so how can we say that this difference is god gifted

We are the one to dig this well of sex discrimination and now unfortunately we are the one's to fall in that well. I heard it somewhere yesterday that "women are stronger as compared to men". They do this, they do that...bla bla bla...ohh my god can someone please answer why are they compared to each other and over imposed on each other in a very sympathetic way. Both of them have equal ability, since both of them have 2 eyes, 2 ears,1 nose and 1 brain. Imagine an alien landing on earth would he discriminate us as men and women. No absolutely not!!he is not even aware of this sexual discriminatory practices. He really won't grasp any reason  for celebrating this day.

Why don't we blindfold ourselves to this difference while walking on roads or working together. Is a women so weak that she needs a special square everywhere as a sympathy??We limit her living why because she is a women.! I am not against celebrating women's day or respecting them, i don't even negotiate the fact of she being powerful but why this difference, just because she is a women. She does not need you to respect her just for a day and tell around that how powerful she is as compared to men.Just because you are a girl friend of mine do i need to ignore your corns..Yes you are my daughter so i won't allow you to stay out late night. If you are in love its a crime and if my son is in love its a pride. I may be having a girl friend but my sister cannot have anyone in her life. If you are standing in a bank queue I'll make you go first why am i not in a hurry?

We teach our kids that this is what girls do and this is what boys do, how can we expect years later he not being a part of thay eve teasing or rape,since what he looks at her is as a girl not human being. Then why shall he behave like an human when he sees a naked girl lying on the road..why shall he stop his car to stop that gang rape because she is not an human, she is just a girl. Did god send him in your womb with this difference in his mind? And the answer is really "NO"

Even in the stone age they did not design this fact about men and women, I have studied that everyone covered themselves with leaves. Both used to hunt and pluck for their living. For a second just imagine if one of them exclaimed their gender as their work, would they survive.

Abundant  people talking about nirbhaya and women's right on this day, we saw a huge candle march,but tell me did rape victims end with her?? Are these thoughts erased by lighting those candles. How could it,when we ourselves said "Nirbhaya can be my daughter too" and so she needs a fair result, why can't it be your son?? If girls are not objects,boys are?

Everyone who came on street that day,  would you accept a rape victim as your wife? Can you let your sister get in that fire? No you won't, because it's not that easy as carrying a board with "save girls". The day when rape victims will be accepted within us that will be the punishment for those convicts.

Yes when all fathers will be free from the fear of their daughter turning late at night,when she isn't stopped anywhere because she is a girl that will be the day when" EQUALITY" will get its existence.

And that will be the day when we will celebrate "HUMAN'S DAY". That will be the moment when men and women will just be a sex and not the identity. That day let it be a man or woman both will have "RIGHT TO LIVE" since they are humans.

And there won't be any Nirbhaya , Jyoti or Jessica.

WRITTEN BY -

RUCHIKA AMRITKAR

BLOG WRITER,

                                                      21ST-WRITING WING

AN INITIATIVE OF 21ST THE CLUB OF PHOTOGRAPHERS

© All rights are reserved

SO CALLED HAPPY WOMAN’S DAY!!

“May I know the reason Inspector?” The shivering voice of mine, not even able to head-up of my vocal chord interrogated the person on the ergonomic chair .I clearly remember the early morning of 18^th February when the call from the Rudra Police Station, Indore broke the silence of the buttoned up lips . The officer at the other end asked me to reach the Police Station with zero delay. I could feel my feet getting paralysed, unable to clutch or race my car. All the positive thoughts decaying with the running odometer.

“Please sit down .” Inspector Sharma asked me while offering me the half filled glass of water from the table.

“Would you please tell me where is Rucha?” I tried raising my voice but all came up was a prickly cry. 

Sharma went off his chair and pushed it right back. He started walking towards the exit and again with a hard blow, pushed aside the partially opened door . He stopped and turned back to address me.

“Mr. Survesh Goyal.”  He took a sigh and continued “Would you come please?”

“At least tell me .Have you found Rucha?” I almost begged for the answer .

Nothing was  in favor of me. My fiancee Rucha , who was on way of her home was missing. She had told me about her work and also how she missed office cab  from seconds. She did ask me to pick if I was in state to. I denied because of the project I was busy in at my place. We hanged up then , but after fifteen minutes more, I tried reaching her through whatsapp.She didn’t reply and after minutes in concern I gave her a call and was unanswered. 

It took me more ten minutes to judge the situation. It was 23.30 hours when I called her back from the log. This time I could hear the IVC saying that it was switched off. 

The police station at 4 am was crowded with officials making me assure of the worst consequences.

“Survesh ,please.”  Sharma said and asked his constable to back me.

I had never experienced it before and so you never wish to. Crowd going almost mum and I could here in the passage were the landline phones ringing one after another. To be honest, the worst moment in life is to realise that something worst is about to arrive and you are null prepare for it. My thoughts were never so balky ever, but you need to accept when everything around you runs inopportune.

I remember, I was then asked to sit outside of a room on a bench. For next fifteen minutes I was scratching the arm of bench with car key. A tear drop went off my cheek and onto thigh making me realise of how helpless I was at the moment. I knew nothing of what did happen and what I was about to get. Rucha’s parents were on the way, Inspector Sharma have informed about them telling about some accident and that she was hospitalised. On the other side,I was told nothing about where Rucha was.

“Survesh!” Sharma asked me to come inside the room . I went in. He closed the door behind and asked me to step ahead. There I could see were two lady constables, a nurse wrapping some injections in a polythene sheet . She kept it aside, moved down to a stretcher lying on the ground. 

“This is Rucha’s.” I ran toward the table and picked up the violet hand bag. It was the same I had gifted Rucha on her last birthday. It had few beads attached to its chain which made hissing sound.

“We found her body near Rekha Nagar water tank, 8 miles away from her office.” Someone said.

I started feeling insensate. I rested myself on the wall behind of me and got down to floor. Everything going blur, ears pressured up, voice reticent.

“Inspector Sharma, report is up. Gang raped, traces of four.” One of the nurse murmured it to him.

Though I didn’t find any expressions as be the fear, the anger on Survesh’s face while telling  me about the incident . He asked  for the bill and turned to me again.

“This is it Tushar! I know you will write it every bit of it. You are too good in description.” He smiled and said.

“What you want me to conclude out of it Survesh?” I asked him while heading towards the bus we had acquired for Rushikesh. 

“Tushar! I saw you were writing the article titled ‘A birth of Her’.  Definitely, I appreciate it.” He paused for a while.

“My Rucha did get the birth, but not right to live.” His voice more sore this time and he continued.

“Tushar, I am least interested in telling you about what happened to those four and where I was in these last months. My content to you will be a story for others. They will want to know whom the sperm traces belong to and what exactly they did to her.” He gave a wry smile this time. 

“ Tushar! Do a favor for me. Take this diary. Though I can’t write good, I have written bit and what Rucha tells me each day.” He handed me a diary and went into the bus.

It was an hour for the bus to depart and so I decided to read what Survesh had written. I took a corner at the bus stop and had a glance over it.

Rucha told me today, this world is a hypocrite. Don’t be the one Survesh. While they took me in the car, a biker did see it but didn’t even move a foot near. 

They may initaite a march candle for your Rucha, don’t be a part of it. They just feel for a day and forget, and wait for a new event to lit it again. I thought Nirbahaya would be the last and but now I feel as if your Rucha was just the second.

I turned the page.

Rucha asked me not to have a baby girl. She said the girls are let to have birth but not live. I know you will love her to the depth, but this world won't. Your daughter for another is a flesh of meat. They get license in minutes to choke her down and eat all of it.

 

Today, she realised me again of the fact that we all are hypocrites. She warned me of not wishing anyone SO CALLED HAPPY WOMAN’S DAY. Because we (boys) merely feel about it or want it to be.

She told me about how many a time she was eve teased and it isn’t less than a rape. How the guys at the café corner used to verbally abuse me and my mates, and it isn’t less than a rape. How in the bus they used to intentionally touch my parts, and it isn’t less than  a rape. How at the parties some used to judge me for my wearings, and it isn’t less than a rape.

I closed the diary and found that story remains the same. It isn’t Rucha’s but a story of every HER. We are too patient and wait till it happens to be Rucha. Yes, I am a hypocrite and avoid situations where I could have taken stand. Yes, I respect my sister but forgets when the blood isn’t mine. Time to change, because it is too late. 

The diary of Survesh is still with me as he left from the place without informing anyone. The pages are yet to be turned. 

Wishing everyone SO CALLED HAPPY WOMAN’S DAY.

( Where Survesh remains unknown and Rucha a lesson for life. )

WRITTEN BY-

TUSHAR KANKHARE,

BLOG WRITER,

21st-WRITING WING

An initiative of 21st The Club Of Photographers

© All rights are reserved

YES , I WILL VOTE !!!

I was just done with my breakfast, and I heard a knock at the door. Every single day you get new promises and gifts on the door. And again I met a person with neat and clean kurta reciting the same Marathi dialogue “Lakshya Asu Dya ! ”” (Do have your favour with us.) In an era where no one knows what will happen tomorrow,everyone tries to convince me to vote for themselves, showing me a virtual image of my city, with no baseline and a outline.

After he left off,I was just wondering that this politics affects everybody irrespective of your age and background.Though the depth of actual politics remains unspecified, every one of us believe that he or she knows every bit of it. Ironically, the things said are not synced with the things done post elections.

We really don’t want the parodied songs to impress us, Nor the hoax of promises which are (unfortunately) ending up undone. Today, we as youngsters are really not keen or inclined towards a specific political party. Now we all have reached a bottle neck where we want to see the efforts paying off. Let's stop being hesitant towards these generations entering into politics and (only) making money and fulfilling the needs, obviously their own to be specific. First and foremost problem is the un-synchronization between the educational qualifications of the candidates and the positions they hold. There has to be a bridge for this scenario. 

Exceptions exist though but every coin has 2 sides. When we talk about elections, many of us enjoy the ‘vacation’ thus not utilizing our democratic rights and eventually duties. How many of us go and vote as a responsible citizen on that very day keeping forth the work of that person, his qualification and his dedication towards us. After blindly choosing the candidate why do we grin about his work??

The day all valid voters will vote,will be the moment where those faces can be questioned for their work because it is unfair to thrust a list of grievances at these leaders without making an effort to work out for it.What we sow.. yields!

It is hard to trust any candidate, the one who were in love with the beliefs of their party are found switching parties which results in lack of confidence in them. On the other side, when so many strong contenders wish to stand from the same half, won’t it lead to internal clashes? These questions the "commitment" . But again the positivity in me tries to focus on his work.Why are we so resistant?

While the city is highly influenced with the politics and citizens do show keen interest in every ongoing around the city. It isn’t easy for the promoters to convince the voters and hence there comes in paisa (after demonitisation). May be directly or indirectly,it reaches most of the voters and accepted too for that momentary happiness. Some try to bribe you by hitting your emotional nerves. Everyone may admire and aspire to be Shivaji Maharaj, but fellows, if we could have find one like him in this era, definitely things would have been better.

Election is a process and right of every citizen to elect the one who has that caliber and quality to identify the problems, suggest the solutions and implement the best in each section of society. we would love to see a leader who is educated well enough to answer the questions on global level and understand the need of each. After elections all those faces disappear like a balloon in the air.

As nashik is being nominated as a smart city it's an exciting aperture for the leaders to take it to a whole new level. Yes and then we can say a right to vote is moreover a duty to vote. Because if I expect that person to change my city, shall i not ask for the change?Why don't we care for the society where we live more than ourselves?

We all dream of a tomorrow where this election aura will taken a turn, Leaders distributing the books for kids in slums instead of those pamphlets being thrown all around, a highly presentable leader with a vision of his work and good experience in past. This all won't remain a dream if we choose our candidate keenly.

This elections, let's show them that we are not the apathetic youth, the way media has stereotyped us, so if you want things to change, make it happen!

If you want the CHANGE in society , please come forward and cast your VOTE

Written by –

Tushar Kankhare, Ruchika Amritkar, Aditya Kulkarni.

Blog Writers, 21st Writing Wing.

Thank you Dhaval Nagare ,  Varsha Murkute , Chintaman Bari for sharing your view.

 – A initiative by 21^st The Club Of Photographers